This is one of my favourite playlists. I know I say that every time but, it’s always true.
We kick off with Miley Cyrus.
Plastic Hearts is her seventh studio album. If you know me, you’ll know I loved Miley Cyrus all from her Hannah Montana days, through Breakout, The Time of Our Lives and Can’t Be Tamed. I can’t speak for anything that came after this because for whatever reason, we were on different paths. However, with Plastic Hearts, we’ve aligned again. Isn’t it funny how these things happen?
I’ve selected my favourite tracks from the album. WTF Do I Know is a feeling I relate to heavily. The more I understand, the less I understand. The less I understand, the more I try to understand. So what in the world do I actually know? I don’t know. I’m only guided by my North Star, my Polaris. Something I also don’t quite understand, but it’s the only thing I can trust. I think it’s my heart, my soul. If I reject it, battle it... I don’t feel okay. When I accept it, I feel relieved. The rest is out of my hands. Except, it is in your hands. There’s a whole lot that I don’t understand, maybe I’m not meant to. Maybe it’s about feeling and experiencing and living. The past and the future don’t really exist, do they? So, that’s what I try to focus on. Being happy with my actions and decisions in the present. It’s all any of us can do.
Philosophical conundrums aside, let’s talk Plastic Hearts, the title track. I think I adore this one sonically. There is so much energy in the chorus: I’ve been Ca– li– fornia dreaming, pla– stic– hearts are bleeding / keep me up all night. Again, I don’t understand it. But I feel it. I can definitely sing along to this one at the top of my damn lungs. Whew.
Prisoner featuring Dua Lipa. This one I definitely love for the sonics. It probably won’t have much replay value past this month… but that doesn’t matter. I love that Miley and Dua recorded a number of tracks, and only released the one that felt right. That is something I can relate to. Also, the song encapsulates a feeling I am currently in the midst of untangling. Prisoner, Prisoner / Locked up, can’t get you off my mind, off my mind / Lord knows I tried a million times, million times / Why can’t you, why can’t you just let me go. I’d make a strong argument that they’re not meant to be off your mind. Maybe you have to let yourself go. I’ll get back to you on that one. If I make a major mistake, you’ll know, but I’m following my heart on this.
Gimme What I Want. This is another one that I feel. Pleasure leads to pain / to me they’re both the same. My soul understands this even if my cognitive consciousness doesn’t. I can’t explain it. I can tell that you’re new to this / Slow it down, but you can’t resist / Beat your fantasy / give yourself to me. I wonder if Miley herself even knows what this means? Are we all communicating in a different realm here? Back to something concrete that we do all understand: Miley’s delivery in this song is phenomenal– especially in the two lines I mentioned. The electric guitars and drums bring an all-consuming energy to the chorus. You’re both powerful in the delivery, but powerless to the effect. Isn’t that something? The more I write about music, the less I feel things can be captured in words. As Shawn (Mendes, for the unfamiliar) said, it’s like trying to take a picture of the moon on your iPhone. It just doesn’t work. Not everything is supposed to be subjected to a conscious and logical deconstruction. Some things are simply there.
Speaking of Shawn, he does manage to deconstruct the absolutely beautiful notion of being so enthralled and immersed in someone, you devote yourself to learning how to love them completely and fully.
Teach Me How To Love is a stunning display of commitment and love. Ooh, your body’s like an ocean / I’m devoted, to explore you / Ooh, what do you desire / I’m inspired / I’ll do it for you. I could go on and on about this track, and then I’d be quoting every line which is definitely what I want to do. Won’t you / draw a map for me / laced with strawberries / and I’ll get on my knees. I love feeling powerless. This is something that makes me laugh because as much as I love control, I also love feeling hopeless and surrendering. Maybe it’s the excitement, the unknown, the endless possibilities? Who knows, but I love it. Put my hands around you / ooh teach me how to / Touch you, tease, caress you and please you / teach me how to love!
Shawn,
Shawn.
Thank you.
Thank you, dear soul friend, for telling the world what it’s supposed to be. I also just love the word caress. It’s beautiful, soft, loving, kind, gentle. It’s everything. It’s one of my favourite words in the dictionary. This song is so pure, and like I said, it captured that feeling of wanting to be taught how to love someone into pretty much oblivion, perfectly. There’s more I could say on this topic but it’s making me chuckle to myself lool, so let’s move on. You guys probably aren’t the person for this conversation anyways lool.
Call my friends. I don’t know why I relate so much to the biggest solo male artist in the world (GQ said it, not me), but I do. I should call my friends and go get high / I need a vacation from my mind. Sometimes, you are just exhausted of doing your thing and want to kick back with people that you love who just know you and love you for you. Ooh, I know you gotta make some sacrifices. Yes Shawn, we really do. I’m only starting and I already feel it. I also know there will be more to come. It is what it is. You can only do your best.
Hello, hello, hello / Can I hear an echo / Purple, red and yellow / I can't wait to get home. I love this song so much. Especially when the drums come in on the second verse. Dream is exactly that… dreamy.
305. This is the Miami area code so no points for guessing who this is about. I adore this track for the honesty. It's 3:05 / I'm on a rollercoaster ride / Hoping you don't change your mind / I don't wanna let go / Never been so sure in my life. And the prechorus: This feeling doesn't fade no matter how hard that I try / I always think about it at the same time every night. I do love the fun instrumentation too. This was one of my favourites upon first listen.
Always Been You was actually re-added back to the playlist when I realised that I was missing the song with the orchestra feel I loved watching Shawn describe in #InWonder. You’re the only one that my heart / keeps coming back to. I feel that Shawn, and I need to talk about this because same buddy. I want to know what made him so sure, because I’m sure? I know it sounds insane to my friends, maybe it’ll sound less insane to Shawn. Also, I need to know how brave this kid was and if I maybe need to be braver too? One thing is for sure though. We are both stubborn as hell. Relentless with it, it seems. Shawn brother, I back it.
The Christmas Song is exactly what it says on the tin, it’s a cute little Christmas song.
I close this album out with Look Up At The Stars. This is a stunning track. For one, I love stargazing. I particularly love the pre chorus here: I am / feeling so lucky (lucky, lucky, lucky) / The sun / shining down on me (on me, on me, on me) / Got these / angels all around me / I'll never be alone. I love it for a few reasons. Firstly, the tempo change and words being super pointed and confident. Secondly, whether Shawn did this intentionally or not, I love that there’s a reference to a song from Handwritten. It’s almost like everything always comes together and makes sense later, and you just have to keep going and trusting. I think this wraps up the Shawn segment of the playlist.
Next up is Alicia Keys and Sampha with 3 Hour Drive.
You have to watch the Song Exploder episode to understand why I love this one so much. The lyrics sung by Alicia and Sampha are the same, yet mean two different things. Then you add me into the mix and suddenly I bring a third meaning to the same exact lyrics. Isn’t that incredible? The sound design in the song is stunning. Alicia said something about it that put into words something I’ve tried to articulate and never really knew how to say: sounds that you feel, not hear. Such a simple explanation, right? I think sometimes we overcomplicate things trying to explain things that just have to be felt.
Which leads very nicely into Evermore.
Taylor Swift stunned me with folklore on the 24th of July this year (I know the exact date because it’s my sister’s birthday). Four months later, she gives me Evermore.
We don’t deserve Taylor Swift. We do not deserve this musical goddess, but God bless her for sharing her magic with us. Some of these songs are super dear to me, so I can’t imagine I’ll deconstruct them here or anywhere… but I will shout out the ones that feel like pure magic: champagne problems and tolerate it. In terms of excellent song writing and mastery of using sound to journey: gold rush. My car drive song: tis the damn season. My biggest mood and I really enjoy the uptempo side on this song too, (it’s probably got the most pop influence): long story short.
There’s a life lesson in marjorie that deserves an honourable mention: Never be so kind, you forget to be clever. Never be so clever, you forget to be kind. You can’t afford that luxury in this world. Naivety will burn you. I wish it wasn’t that way but all my wishing doesn’t change the world. At least we have these pieces of magic. I’m going on a tangent now but, I watched Pixar’s Soul the other day, and it illustrated this concept beautifully. I love 22. I love how pure she is. But anyways, back to Taylor Swift.
Let’s talk about closure. I love the song structure. I know many don’t. I know it may seem disjointed to some and quite confusing, but I get it. I feel it. Closure is disjointed. I don’t actually think it’s a real thing. I’m starting to think we’re all walking around, entangled in each other and somehow wanting to call it closure. I’m starting to think that the only thing truly closed is the thing that never opened to begin with. Who freaking knows.
evermore cuts deep for me, so I’m going to leave it at that. I will say that I loved exile too. Bon Iver and Taylor gave us two hauntingly beautiful moments.
Side note: I’ve just looked at the word count and it’s pretty much hit 2000. Look at how easily I can write about the things I love!
Speaking of things I love. This next track, courtesy of the late Pop Smoke, is my standout on the album.
Something Special immediately stood out to me. Maybe it’s the fact that I wrote something very similar earlier this year… maybe it’s because it samples Into You… most likely it’s a combination of the two. It makes me happy. It’s beautiful.
Our next track is from The Kid LAROI’s repackaged F*CK LOVE.
The album is exactly what it says. Laroi doesn’t hold back. He says everything he feels and sometimes I don’t even acknowledge how brave you have to be for that. People like Laroi make me super grateful for them while acknowledging that there are also people way braver than I am. As I’m typing this, I’m thinking of a poetry book I’m currently reading: the sun and her flowers by Rupi Kaur. It’s so raw. Pain on a page but that vulnerability is beautiful. (I know I use beautiful a lot but it’s because things just are beautiful). I’d like to grow into that one day, because I know how seen it makes me feel, but I don’t know if I will. Again, who knows?
What I do know, is that HAIM’s FUBT from Women In Music Pt. III is one of the greatest tracks to ever exist.
There is one line that is delivered so. damn. perfectly.
Either way I’m gonna lose / SO I’M JUST KEEP ON LOVING YOU.
(In case you missed it, it’s the capital letters part that gets me).
On God, the guitar in this and the girls sound amazing. I love love LOVE this track. It’s up there with my all time favourites. It is sensational and, furthermore, it is TRUE. This track makes me feel so brave in shouting about what my heart feels. I am just gonna keep on loving you. I might regret being this loud about it later… again I don’t freaking KNOW world. We could loop back to Miley here to be honest. But for the sake of getting us through this playlist without my side rambles… let’s keep it moving!
I do realise I skipped 3am and Now I’m In It. This was only done because FUBT is really that track. But let us backtrack to 3am. I’m listening to it right now and it sounds like something I would hear on a Grand Theft Auto radio and let play as I virtually cruise through my LA-esque surroundings during sunset hours. There was something very therapeutic about exploring the cities and towns before I could do it in real life too. I do look back fondly at the days where a PlayStation could entertain me for hours… in a way they were simpler days. In another way, maybe I’m just living real life now. I have to accept my own evolution.
I’m going to let FUBT play again before skipping ahead to Now I’m In It. It’s fucked up but its true / that I love you like I do / I'm just gon keep on loving you / It’s tough to get through / either way I'm gonna lose / So I'm just keep on loving you.
Now I’m In It has just begun. This actually sounds like something I could hear 1989 Taylor Swift doing… so I guess it’s no surprise that Taylor and HAIM are friends and collaborated on no body, no crime. They share that same musical genius.
Essence brings a slight shuffle to the vibe.
This is my favourite track on Wizkid’s most recent album. It’s also Obama’s favourite. This song feels like the ocean to me, but a calm one with sin and cos waves. Not that crashing nonsense… that’s reserved for the next part of this playlist.
We’re back to Fletcher.
It’s not The S(ex) Tapes, no… we’ve taken it back to You Ruined New York City For Me. She sounds younger here, you can tell. It’s endearing.
The 192nd second of If You’re Gonna Lie is the crashing wave. The kind that crashes and rises all over again. It’s a beast and this is the release. And you flap around in it for a while to survive it.
Undrunk is my favourite track. Fletcher has a knack for saying things exactly as they are. It’s in your face and loud, it’s not masked in poetry or metaphors, and that’s what I love about her. I’m touching myself to the photos that you used to send me, I should have deleted but kept it a secret / is that crazy to do? Then there’s the concept of “un doing everything”. Wish I could get a little undrunk so I could uncall you at 5 in the morning, I would unfuck you / but some things you can't undo / I wish I could unkiss the room full of strangers so I could unspite you, unlose my temper– and then she brings it back almost painfully to– but some things you can’t undo / and one of them’s you.
I’ll be honest, if I weren’t terrified of us both being messes, then in an alternate reality, Fletcher and I were probably the wildest, most magnetic and electrifying, impassioned and dangerously close to psychedelic duo. Do you see what I mean? It’s too much. In my younger years I was starving for this. Where I’m at now… it’s a lot. And yet there is still a part of me that cannot resist it. I’ve told you, I am a sucker for PAIN.
All Love has some of my favourite moments on the album. The chorus is stellar, especially the way it completely strips back sound intentionally. I take another shot, need the novocaine / wish it would numb my heart the way it numbs my brain / but it’s all love / I don’t feel it but it’s all love. Bro… I love Fletcher. When you walk in the bar with someone holding hands / introduce me to her say I’m just an old friend / and you ask how I’ve been / I say I’m doing fine but I’m lying.
I think about both sides of this. Being the person walking into the bar, and being Fletcher. Neither of them sit well with me, both sides sound painful. I wrote about this in an Instagram post recently. Where does the love go in these instances? How does it just disappear? It makes no sense to me. I don’t think I ever want it to make sense. I think we’re all walking around holding parts of each other. No wonder it’s all so confusing and we bleed back into each other. Will it make more sense as I get older? I don’t think it will. I guess I’ll find out whether I choose to or not… that’s how life aggregates.
About You has some of my favourite lines. Grabbing my keys they feel heavy to me / cos you gave me back the one you don’t need / You got your hands on me, you got your hands on me / a thousand miles away but you still got your hands on me. I could have conversations about these, but again, not the time, or place, or person. But, you do still have your hands on me… you know it too. So… I don’t know. However, this does lead nicely into the next track.
Strangers.
We started out as strangers / now we’re strangers again / the things I love about you / I’m supposed to forget / and everytime I think about you it don’t make any sense / we started out as strangers now we’re / strangers again
I’m trying to but I still don’t understand
What I am confused about, is that this EP and the next are about two different people, right? So someone explain to me the in between period please. Why does no one write songs about that part? I am genuinely confused it doesn’t make any sense.
As it happens, confusion does absolutely nothing for us as humans with lives to maintain. So, we put it aside (in it’s confused state) and focus on the things that need to be done. Like completing this post.
I feel like the next two tracks and their juxtaposition almost tell a story, and I didn’t realise it until after the fact. The first is Adele’s cover of I Can’t Make You Love Me at the iTunes Festival: London 2011.
I don’t want to focus on the story, in this case it is second to the sheer beauty of this track. Adele delivers this song so delicately and gracefully. The piano is stunning. I love this track so much that the crowd at the end annoys the hell out of me. I was in the zone listening! Beautiful and absolutely timeless, just like the second part of this story, and the track that closes out this playlist.
If You Ever (ft. 6lack) is part of my treasure chest of songs that are so intrinsically me, I know I’ll love them forever. Interestingly enough, when I first heard this track years ago, I did not pay attention to the lyrics. I simply enjoyed the music. The muted percussion and heaven-like angel chords were enough for me. Astonishingly, the musical and creative Gods, Mnemosyne, Apollo, Zeus… whichever one of you decided to strike me with conscious calamity… decided it was time to reveal a further layer of cognizance to me. So here we are, again.
(If you ever change your mind)
Would you fly, would you fly with me?
(If you ever change your mind)
Change your mind, change your mind for me
(If you ever change your mind)
If you find, if you find you ever change your mind
Would you like to go, like to go with me?
I have got to say again, these artists are BRAVE. I could never be that loud. But then… quem nao arrisca nao petisca. That’s a Portuguese proverb for you. So maybe one day… maybe one day. (And yes, that is me being loud. What can I say? It’s rubbing off on me.)
Anyways, that does bring us to the end of this monthly breakdown. I’m aware it was a very introspective one, but that’s all I had for you this month. I’m really loving this playlist so what happens next month, I do not know. We’ll find out, like we always do. Don’t you just love not knowing? I’m looking out my window and the way the city sprawls into the distance kind of reflects this exact mood I’m in.
I don’t know what’s in the far distance, but there is something. Whether I find myself there or not, I’ll only know if and when it happens. Life: it’s bigger than me, bigger than you, bigger than anything we collectively get.
All the love, always. See you next month souls. I love you.
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