A couple nights ago, I was feeling upset again about some situations, and this one magical chameleon (I call them this because these souls seem to be able to adapt to the support I need with such grace and kindness, bless) brought to light something that led to me changing how I had been handling certain things... it’s not just about letting go, it’s choosing to do so with love.
With all the time I’ve taken to make my well-being my one and only priority by investing in self care both physical and mental, I looked inwards a lot. The more I did this, the more deeply invested in my energetic awareness I became. The more aware of the energy I was both putting out and consuming. There’s a lot to be said for digital detoxing and curating your info intake but that’s for another blog post. More recently, I’m trying to be conscious of the energy I’m holding.
Shout out to Thailand, meditation, journalling, mindfulness and honestly just turning this whole life thing over to the higher powers. I reached a point after studying some Taoism and Buddhist teachings where I said you know what? Fine. I surrender. And I lay there, in silence. I did only what I felt compelled to do, which wasn’t a lot at all at first. Mainly sleep. And then I wrote. More than I’d ever written in my life. And then I put it all in a Google Doc and ignored it.
I’m aware it’s my job to continue to nurture and protect my mental health. I’m typing this next part more so as a reminder to myself: be kind, be loving, be forgiving. Being those three things helps me be mindful of my energy. And, here’s where the magical chameleon comes in again... to remain hurt is to hold that energy, which will then either hurt me and/or hurt someone else. I need to let go with love.
The hurt I’ve been holding has been hurting me. It affects my interactions with people and the world around me. It takes up space.
All this writing throughout the year, it came from a therapeutic place. Some are half songs some are a bit longer. Some are better than others. None of it was intended to be shared but now that I’ve adopted this letting go with love mentality, and I‘ve got this blog and all these music industry dreams... the way I look at the songs is changing. I want to let go of them too, and add them to a writing portfolio because well, I do love lyrics. I do write. I do sing. I do just love a good song. Of course it’s terrifying, but I think it’s the right move.
Most of them have sound bytes too but I don’t think I’m sharing those because as it stands, I myself have no interest in ever recording these. In fact, I’m ready to pull a Camila with IHQ with most of these.
What I do have an interest in, is working with songwriters and artists to create great music, and great moments sharing great music.
So that’s what I’ll be doing. Alongside other things that I love too. I think true freedom really might just lie in the courage to let go of everything, and trust that you are enough to figure it all out. When you’re okay with everything, everything is always okay. Think about it 😉
P.S. A little book rec: The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. Believe me, you will find it and it will find you, when you need it.
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